Maybe one day…

I believe that men and women were created equal.

*gasp*

I believe that I can’t be bought or owned.

*gasp*

I believe in reproductive rights for all, regardless of race, age, religion…and gender.

*gasp*

I even believe that myself, as a woman, deserves to be treated the same as a man in my position.

*gasp*

Am I a radical? I think not. Well, maybe if I lived in 1940s Australia.

Or if I lived in Kamwenge, today.

*                          *                            *

Our staff, including Michael and myself, were eating matooke and beans for lunch the other day in our newly constructed shelter. They were discussing someone’s wedding. Deep in thought, one of our staff asked innocently… ‘Dr, do you have dowry in your country? How much did you pay for Kim?’

Michael explained that we don’t have such a thing. That he visited my parents to ask for their blessing, then asked me to marry him, to which I happily agreed.

Another staff member, a woman joined the conversation. ‘What about polygamy?’

I replied that polygamy is illegal. You can be put in jail. Even when a man cheats in Australia, he can lose his house and land if the couple divorces. I explained further about women’s rights, choosing my words carefully, aware of the presence of a woman in the shelter whose husband I had learned had taken a second (younger) wife against her wishes.

There was a great pause in the midst of lunch. A moment to digest this information.

Then a young shy woman, a staff member that has grown up in the village, speaks very little English, and that I have a strong infinity for spoke up.

“That means that in your country, women are equal to men.”

*                          *                            *

I was chatting to the clinical staff about a course that one of our staff would be sent to undertake, for contraceptive and Family Planning training. Another staff was sharing her experience with family planning programmes in the village. My ears pricked up – I am currently writing my Master’s thesis on fertility choices in Kamwenge, focusing on reproductive rights and normative cultural values/expectations that constrain choice. I asked about how women in Kamwenge received the idea of contraceptive advice/counselling. Were they opposed to it? The answer devastated me.

‘Some do not want. But there are many that do. The problem we are having is that husbands do not allow their women to use contraception…

.. A few months ago, there were a big number of women in my home village that got the implanon, in secret, so they could stop producing [having children]. But the husbands got very angry. Some were thrown out of their homes, their villages. Others were beaten.’

*                          *                            *

I hadn’t even given much of a second thought to the set of values around equality that I hold, when I lived in Australia. It was part of my assumed knowledge, growing up. In my teenage years, if anyone was to treat me differently – unfairly – because I was a woman, I would have acted with indignation and disgust, and the matter would have been settled, fair and square.

I’m not trying to say that Australia is the land of milk and honey, where women have achieved complete equality with men. But we are actually doing ok. We are on to the business of more minor stuff in the big scheme of equality these days.

Uganda is doing ok in some areas. They have one of the highest percentages of female politicians in the world, with a compulsory female MP position for every electoral zone. There are lots of female managers of businesses. Plenty of middle class women who go to University.

But if you even get close to village life, you can smell the stench of inequality rising from the thatched rooves of your average family’s household.

Beyond anything else we achieve in Kamwenge over the next 10 years, beyond any goal to assist people to escape grinding poverty, beyond even saving lives at the clinic…

…what I wish more than anything deep down in the justice-craving areas of my soul, is to start a movement of village women who believe that perhaps, just maybe, they could be equal with men.

That maybe they should have control over their reproductive choices; who they have sex with, how many children they have, or where they give birth.

That maybe they have the right to equal access in health and education.

That maybe they could be in a marriage without having to be one of several wives.

That maybe they don’t deserve to be abused and trodden on, beaten and bashed

That maybe they don’t want to be defined only as mother and wife; their value attributed to the number of children they produce.

That maybe they shouldn’t have to be the bread winner for their children, dig in the garden, cook, clean, and raise their children alone.

That maybe they have the right to have control over resources, including land.

That maybe they could fight for all of this.

Maybe one day.

www.maranathahealth.org

4 responses to “Maybe one day…

  1. This is a great piece. Very though provoking and well written.

    I am looking forward to reading more about your travels!

  2. As always you hit the nail on the head. In Australia my feminist leanings have quietened down quite a lot over the years, but when I am in a developing country and spend time with my friends from other cultures, the awareness of what so many women suffer simply because they are women hits like a ton of bricks. And when women internalise paternalistic and sexist views and actually perpetuate the system themselves, I almost despair. But then there are always also examples of women, throughout the world and throughout the ages, standing up for their rights, showing that they are valuable in and of themselves, and living with power and dignity, and of men sometimes accepting and supporting such women. I pray that this can be Kamwenge’s story too!

    • Liesl – I agree totally. Normative paternalistic values are so damaging and something that is so DIFFICULT to fight against, when it is seen as accepted truth. I have found a few men over the past few months that are really willing to go against the grain, and it is so encouraging. For example, one man I know has been arranging to leave his work place early so he can cook for his wife, since she recently gave birth and is struggling with 2 young kids. Amazing and counter cultural!!! 🙂

  3. Great posting Kim. I agree with Liesl that it is a despairing thing when women have actually been brainwashed to think that this way of thinking is normal. But gosh, don’t put too much on your plate (if you’re hoping to start a feminist movement)…at least not here at the outset. Those people really need you guys for what you’re doing now and you probably don’t want to either “out” yourself with the local men, or, burn yourself out too early. However, planting some seeds and letting them grow over the next few years could create some interesting possibilities… 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s